Part II, Day 4: Sidelined by Scarlet Fever

Today did not go as planned from sun up to sun down. Instead of getting ready for my second boot camp class and perhaps being more in pain than ever before, I was carting children around and one in particular back and forth to the doctor's office. Caroline has scarlet fever.

The mention of scarlet fever seems so Victorian or early 20th century at the very least. I was even tempted to ask if we were going to be quarantined. Funny, how years ago, the entire family would have been sealed into the house, battling the life threatening disease, that now is just treated with a bit of penisilian and a smile.

I was convinced that she would miss at least the rest of the week of school, but the doctor told me that she can return tomorrow. So hopefully, Friday, though always crazy, will be a little easier without having to juggle a scarlet child, as well as, the usual appointments for my son.

Today was an emotional day for me for other reasons, but ended after a two hour nap on a nice note. Dinner alone with my husband. It was not fancy food, but it was nice to just relax alone.

Part II, Day 3: The Hobbler

You may call me the Hobbler today. Every muscle in my gluts area hurts. And the side of my body. I feel old, but a little energized, but exhausted. I have no idea how one could possibly feel all of those things together, but I do. What a crazy ride this boot camp thing is going to be on my body. I am off boot camp until tomorrow night and I am desperately not trying to think about the agony I will be experiencing on Friday while attempting to leap and dance in class. This week, grace is not my goal, but rather not falling over. Small goal, perhaps I can actually attain it.

I thought I would be fine today, seeing as I made it through all day yesterday with only a twinge. As dusk descended upon our house, so too did pain and stiffness. How could I have barely any pain all day to only bet writhing in pain at bedtime? Either my body is just aging or this too shall pass. I hope for the this too shall pass bit.

One exciting thing about myself that I have totally realized, is that I think I can manage the next 9 classes of this hell. And then I will be conquering my next exercise fear: spinning! I have always wanted to do spinning, but have been so afraid of not being able to do it.

Where does this deep sense of fear come that is rooted in the belly of my soul? I think it can be traced back to grammar school when I was often picked last or next to last because I was not athletically inclined. I remember telling a friend in college that these legs are not made for running. While it is true I have never been a fast runner, I can run when I want to. That I found out while doing Karate in college and ran home one night, and did not even realize that I was running until I arrived at the door in record speed from the origination point.

Anyway, today it is all about optimism and seeing that I can do things. Maybe not fast, but can definitely do them. So, here's to living life in technicolor and not in black and white, siezing the day and really living.

Part II, Day 2: Boot Camp

Trying to navigate the road to happiness has been fraught with bumps and aggravation. There have been times of extreme happiness and times of extreme exhaustion and loneliness. Though, who's life isn't I guess? It just seems harder sometimes when it is your life that is throwing grenades in the way.

During the first forty days of this project, I realized that I am a bit angry about life and just need some physical movement to improve the mood. To that end, I signed up for the Adult Jazz class that I attend on Fridays. It is a hoot and especially on the days that I do not want to go I feel better. And the best part? I lost eight pounds without really trying. OK, I tried a little bit, but it was easy. Take that back, it was hard work each Friday, but it was not disruptive to my day to day life.

Then, at a school function, I won a five week boot camp with a friend. Yesterday began my foray into a previously, and still, scary zone. The military scares me. They break you down to build you up. There are tons of men and women out there in the military and I totally respect you. Thank you for all the sacrifices you are giving your nations. That said, it has never been my thing.

About 11 years ago, my husband and I decided to try boot camp at our gym. We made it exactly 15 minutes. I could not keep up with the psycho teacher and she just plain scared me. I ran away. There is only one other thing I have run away from in life, and that makes the second. So there, now you know I ran away from two things in my life (not bad for 38 years, right?)

Anyway, those two things were:
1. The US Foreign Service Examination (I walked in the auditorium, and I walked out... no idea why or anything. There went my dreams to serve in the diplomatic corp in a moment of insanity.)
2. Boot Camp at a gym in Boston (purely scared and a chicken)

Now, fast forward to last month: at the school function, I spied the boot camp. I excitedly bid on it with a friend and we outbid others to win it! Then I confidently signed up and with butterflies in my stomach and the back bone of an amoeba, shakily drove to the boot camp rendezvous. I was feeling like slime on the floor. Then, to top it off, I had to be weighed in front of 23 others!!! And then my BMI was checked. This was about the last straw. I wanted to run away. But I learned something over the course of training for the half marathon in 2009. I can do anything. Maybe not fast, maybe as slow as molasses, but I can finish. So, I just hung in there, out of breath and sore as can be last night.

As I told my friend this morning, we can handle anything for one hour and if we can't keep up, oh well. They can just kick us out. :)

For some reason this song is stuck in my head, so I share it and hope others are having an easier time with this thing called exercise!

Day 1 of Part II of the Happiness Project: The Shape Up!

Now that I have dusted off the happiness feelings and am starting to feel like myself for longer periods of time, the next phase of the happiness project is ready to begin. My goal for the first part of this project was to increase my happiness level to get my creative juices running for my writing projects.

Though I have made a huge headway in the happiness factor, I am still not back in the good place for my writing. So this project will be rolled out over the next year to include different parts.

Part I: Was working on general happiness and working on specific projects. Those projects will continue, but the focus will shift majorly to kicking the exercise part up significantly.

Part II: This part is starting today and will include at least three intensive workouts a week and more seeing the silver lining.

Future Parts will be introduced at the end of each phase.

For my first long term goal, I will begin training my body to run my second Walt Disney Half Marathon in January 2013. I know that seems a long time away, but my husband and I are planning to run it with his sister and we all need lead time to both train and already have other plans with their father during the 2012 race. In addition to just running the race, I want to shave time off of my first race time of 3:08. I am sure that is possible. The first race was just about finishing it. The next one is about finishing it in less than 2:45! (I am the world's sllllooowwweeesstt runner so we shall see!!!

So, here is to the first day of the new phase. This phase will include my return to clean eating - I am convinced the fuel we ingest has a huge impact on our outlook. This phase will last for 35 days

Day 40: Re-learning the ABCs

A few years ago, my good friend Ramon proposed that we should do an ABC poster together. I would write the text and he would design it. I was happy to oblige and it took a year of back and forth and whatnot to finally see a version of this poster. Looking back over this past 40 days, how far I have come in my quest for happiness is amazing. I did not believe that it was possible to find a happier place for me in my current life.

Over the past few weeks, I have learned and re-learned a ton. These are the important lessons of this part of the journey:

1. Take time to smell the roses and savor the scent
2. Happiness is somewhat self derived
3. My happiness affects the entire family, and most importantly my son's well-being
4. Little moments of divine intervention happen every day, I just have to take the time to see it
5. A song can change a mood and now I have 40 great songs on my iPod to help me get through life's rollercoaster
6. There is no such thing as a truly 100% blissful life, learn from the downs and rejoice in the ups

Finally, I retook my happiness number and now I am: 3.17 out of a 5. That is a vast improvement from day 1 and I feel it.

This journey is not over, but I will be taking a brief break this week. When I return, I will reveal the next part of this process: the 5 week renewal project!

So in the meantime, peace, happiness and love to everyone. And I have to end with a song - off course.

Day 39: Zoo-rific

Today was Girl Scout Day at the Franklin Park Zoo in Boston. Hundreds of little girls to big girls were running all around the zoo having a ball. My girls are Daisy Scouts - the littlest girl scouts - and just trying to get all 14 little girls to move was quite a feat. After two and a half hours they had managed to make it to the arts and crafts area set up for them, the zebras, the tigers, and the lions...and lunch. The leaders kept warning them that recalcitrant little ones would be locked up with the monkeys. I don't think these savvy girls bought that threat at all. :)

Between all the slowness, the boisterousness, the curiosity, and the girly giggles, there were sweet moments that reminded me of the happiness I have been seeking (and finding) during this 40 day project. The girls were happily taking care of each other in that they were in buddies. To be six or seven and holding the hand of a buddy to make sure that no one is lost. The joy of seeing a lion playing with a box and the shear wonder of what is in the box. Swinging from low branches and worrying only about the moment.

The most amazing thing that I witnessed was the self-less sharing of Girl Scout cookies with an older woman. The girls knew that she was part of the Girl Scouts somehow because she had an official badge and was dressed in Girl Scout Gear. They had no idea that she is the CEO of Eastern Massachusetts. All they knew is that she was obviously a sister scout and she must need a snack. The photographers loved the scene and were snapping photos, so I am sure that it will appear somewhere. The girls were just being sweet. Not expecting anything in return. Isn't it a shame that we can't be a little more self-less. A little more concerned with other people's hunger and not worried about how we will look to the outside world. Today's happiness lesson came at an appropriate time in this project and it well noted.

Thank you little scouts for teaching this former Scout a thing or two.

Day 38: New do

Today was another hectic day. Why do we do this to ourselves? Instead of living life, we are being driven by it, eh? Or am I the only one who feels this way? From 8am until after 8 pm today I was carting little people around, making trips to and from school, pick ups, drop offs, school, appointments, Daisy Scouts, etc. Then finally a few moments to just be: a pedicure. I just wanted to be quiet and not hear complaints. I wanted to contemplate my crappy glass of wine and relax with my sister-in-law. Relax we did, but in the background this nagging feeling that I had forgotten something. Then it hit me. I had forgotten to savour the day. I was so busy doing and checking off things, that I did not savor.

Newly resolved, I tried to be in the moment, even when I had to crunch over a broken beer bottle in my thin flip flops whilst picking up a bit of curry from our neighborhood Indian watering hole. Finally, a warm meal, not prepared by me this week. One that I love: Peshwari naan and vegetable korma. Heavenly.

Oh, and the best laugh of the day? Caroline wanted to give her Papa a new hair-do. He innocently agreed and did not realize that she was weilding nail scissors. Now he has a new bald spot. Hopefully, the hair will grow before he returns to work after Easter. Thank God for vacations!!!

Caroline has been crying non-stop since the scissor incident. I convinced her to draw a sorry card for Papa. She did and included the cutest "mad face of Papa" drawing.