Spa me away

Today my glass is not filled. Not half filled. Just empty. Life today sucks. Life yesterday sucked. Life tomorrow will surely suck. What? This is supposed to be an uplifting blog. One that has seen many transformations, but has never been one to wallow and self-pity. Yet this mom is doing just that. I just checked out the cost for a chic spa. Yep, that is not happening. I need a break from being a mom. A housewife. A non-entity. Languishing somewhere are my degrees, long forgotten, since I decided, yes, decided that I wanted to be a house frau because I could not fathom the thought of leaving my infant twins in someone else's care 10 years ago. 10 years of watching life go by. 10 years of just being so-and-so's mom. 10 years of just being a ghost of my former self. 10 years for what? To be a taxi driver to my son's various treatments (he has Asperger's and high anxiety). To ferry kids almost 1,000 miles a week in a crappy mini-van that I have always hated. To sacrifice everything for three children who have become so self centered that they can't see beyond themselves. This mom just wants to be wanted, cherished, and respected. So how do I find me again? Because this life sucks...