Day 23: Everyone needs a little bit of art!

Today was a tiring, but such an enjoyable day. I was given two free passes by BzzAgent to the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston and asked a very good friend from college to join me.

We met early in the morning at her apartment in Cambridge and then drove over to the museum. The Museum had been under construction and the new wing has been open for a few months, so we were excited to explore the new wing and look at some old favorites - I was particularly excited to check out their collection from Generation 27 (more later).

The architecture of the new building was great and we had a blast picking which pieces of art to listen to on the iPod that the desk lent to us. It was great to revisit old favorites and discover some really cool new art.

I am a contemporary art and handicraft person, so I really enjoyed seeing all the pieces that were being shown in those areas. I did not realize that museum has such an extensive Alexander Calder collection and it was great to find my beloved Picassos and Mondrians from the older collections.

My friend and I had a chance catching up on the last few weeks and it was so great to get out of my life for a few hours. Even though we were in the museum less than four hours, it felt like a weekend getaway for me. It was time to take in art, relax, walk around and hang out with an amazing friend.

As I drove home later, I could not help but thank whatever force compelled me to do this happiness project. I think if we had done this trip even a month ago, I would have been too busy worrying about the time on the clock. I would not have taken the time to look at some pieces in depth, and some in passing. I would not have had such a great time. They say that it takes one 21 days to learn a new habit. I think that I am learning step one of many new habits in my 40 day project.

The rest of the day after I left this friend is such a blur - thus my tiredness. Two pick ups ensued, followed by a play date with six children! The parents all stayed so it was a nice time to chat over some delightful pastry from Flour, my fav bakery in Boston. I have lots of leftovers, so tomorrow's breakfast is starting to look interesting! And now, my cherubs are in bed, with their nightly shananigans. I am trying to ignore them and concentrate, but their little voices are startling my words right out of the grey matter.

When I was at UCLA, I specialized in Spanish literature. Being a Penninsularist, I concentrated on the Generation of 27. This generation was composed of great artists from the 1920s who left an indelible mark on the international arts scene: Salvador Dalí, Pablo Picasso, Louis Buñuel, to name a few. The research I did in those years, bolstered my love for the works of the great masters who all lived and worked together in Madrid and later Paris. They paved the way for all of our great contemporary artists and put Spain's art scene back on the map. Of course, Franco tried to squash their great works, but nearby Paris offered a haven for them and ensured that many generations would know their work.

Salvador Dalí is one of my favorite artists. Here is a great tribute to the genius that graced us with his fantastic works of art and literature.

And here is the classic "Un Chein Andalou" by Louis Buñuel on which he collaborated with Salvador Dalí:

Day 22: Little Doves of Corn

Palomitas de maíz...little doves of corn. For some reason, popcorn sounds so much more romantic in Spanish. It is one of many words that I prefer in Spanish. The list is long, but though I love palomitas de maíz, mariposa (butterfly) is still my favorite word - but I digress. Palomitas de maíz, just the word, brings me to a tranquil plain. Today, my son and I finished off lunch with a small bowl of the warm, fluffy stuff. It was a small bowl, but the crunchy texture was heavenly.



Today has been a day of happiness and tranquility. The major clean up of the first floor is complete. I do admit that there are cabinets to clean out, but all the surfaces are deep cleaned and in addition to the playroom, we have reclaimed the kitchen, the dining room, the hallway, and the living room. Even the staircase leading upstairs is devoid of clutter. We usually put things on steps to be brought up later and then sometimes the things stay there too long. Funny how that happens.

Nothing extraordinary happened today, but in a way that was extraordinary. The children did not fight for the first time in months. My son was content all day and did not have even one meltdown. They picked out their own Converse at the Converse Company Store (we live near the global headquarters). I even told them how my grandmother was a stitcher for the lovely shoes years ago. My innocent little son asked me, "Was Nana real?" That question really gave me pause. Of course she was real, but how could I explain that to him. He had never seen her. He is a very visual kid, he needs to see to believe. Unfortunately, I did not have a good answer.

After the shoe purchase, we went to a great bakery and bought the kids some Easter cookies, then home for homework, gymnastics for the girls, dinner with Grammie, and bedtime.

Today was a great day. I heard birds chirping, felt a warm breeze, ventured out without a coat, and tried not to think about the snow forcasted for Friday. I felt loved and loving toward others. I felt like for once, in a long time, that I was on the right path and that life was a joy. I wanted to tiptoe through the yet to poke through the ground tulips and become one with nature. I hope the feeling lasts...

Day 21: Playdates and New Friends

Today, a little girl had her first play date. It was like watching her blossom into a big girl like this little crocus that finally bloomed in our garden. It was a little girl in my twins' homeroom. They were invited to her house for pizza, decorating cupcakes and a movie. The mom was nervous, and the little girl was so excited. Her enthusiasm was contagious and reminded me that friends really do make the world more manageable.

I have a special place in my heart for this little one. She may seem overbearing, and completely in your face, but she has a heart that she wears on her sleeve and she will be the one marginalized if she does not learn how to have friends. I say this not to be mean, but as a parent of a child who has social awkwardness, it is something that I have observed and hope she never realizes that road that she is standing at the top of. I think that she will be ok at the end of the day though because she is engaging and fun and funny. I hope she never learns how to lasso her spirit, because her spirit is just what this world needs.

A doctor recently told me that kids in the 1970s were praised for being different. However, in this lovely day and age, society and perhaps, more importantly, the American education system wants children to perform according to certain parameters that render the outcoming child more likely to be the same type of performer as the next. Now, I am not saying that I agree with this prognosis. That is one sad society we are living in if it is true. That said, I can see in this current life of over scheduled children and the need to get your child into Harvard at age 5, what the doctor was saying to me.

I remember, not too long ago -I hope-, when being a kid meant running around the neighborhood with the kids. Parents coordinated their supper times and we were all called in when the next door neighbor boomed her boys' names. I can still hear her now, "James! Joseph! Supper! Now!" I don't think she ever needed to call them twice. The whole gaggle of us came running to our respective doors within seconds. We lived in a small valley and her voice carried to all the nether regions of our neighborhood. We were out there mostly unsupervised, doing a scary thing: playing.

We slayed dragons, climbed trees, rode our bikes down a very, very steep hill without any hands, we hiked the woods, played in a brook, got messy, took potty breaks amongst the trees, saw pictures in the clouds, made secret clubs and kept the secrets. We bought ice cream from the ice cream truck. We took our 25 cents and were able to buy a whole chocolate bar, even if it meant defying our parents and crossing the big, busy main street. We rode our bikes for hours and didn't complain about the hard work: it was our independence. We played flashlight tag until the fireflies came out and not one kid ever found me in my super secret hiding spot on the front lawn of my parents' house (I curled around a tree trunk). We had neighborhood parties. Parents never seemed to worry about us because they knew that the older kids took care of the annoying little kids. Then something happened, maybe it was computers, maybe it was Atari, whatever it was, the kids that came after us, did not have the same great experience. But more than an experience, we had great friends - life's treasure.

As I have been navigating this thing called life, I have at times realized that I tend to be a great friend in the moment, but then life gets in the way (and usually a move across state borders) and slowly those friendships fade to memories. With the dawning of Facebook (the electronic version) I have been happily reacquainted with some of the best people I have had the pleasure of knowing. In a Utopian world, I would be able to take all these wonderful souls that have enriched and that are enriching my life to a special city, where we can have parties and hang out. We can take long meandering walks. We can talk and listen - that is important. We can continue to be a part of each other's lives and we can remember all the great reasons we became friends. I firmly believe that all people that cross our paths are there for a reason. Sometimes for a short period of time and sometimes for our lifetimes.

Here's a song for all my friends. Every, single one of you has meant the world to me in more ways than you can ever know.

Day 20: Half way through happiness project

Though spring has sprung, the temperatures in this neck of the woods have been not cooperating. It would be great to tiptoe amongst the tulips, breathing in the fragrant air. Unfortunately, that is not to be for this week it seems. Today, whilst at the market, I spied some beautiful bunches of daffodils. Normally, I would only buy tulips at this time of year, but the fragile blossoms of this sunny flower were just the pick-me-up that I needed today. So, into my basket this bunch of flowers went and onto our kitchen counter.

It is funny how such a small thing as a bunch of flowers can bring a smile to one's lips and a spark to the eye. These little yellow blossoms are reminding me of the renewal I have been looking for these past few weeks. Twenty days ago when I began to think about writing again and, more importantly, relaunching my blog, I was looking for a renewal. I had no idea where the journey would take me.

All that was known back then (it seems so long ago for some reason):
1. A renewal was needed
2. Stress management was non-existent
3. Our family was hectic
4. My creative self was smothered and thought lost

These few weeks have shown me that life is not so serious. I may not necessarily be back to my LA laid back ways, but I am heading in that direction. I've learned that I have no control over life. I can perhaps influence seemingly mundane things, but in the big picture so many balls have already been set in motion that I need to brave this journey as an active participant, but one that can't micromanage every turn and ebb.

This is important because I have started to enjoy my life again. There are still moments of complete insanity that can only come from having twins plus one so closely together. I am still getting my arms around this sibling thing. Being an only child, I imagined that having siblings was the best thing in the entire world: built in buddies, a shoulder to cry on, someone to always have your back, best friends. Instead, what I am finding to be true is that: there is a fierce love, but many, many fights are a normal occurrence. There will be hair pulling, pushing, screaming, love and hugs. One moment they share toys and snacks, the next they are squirreling them away. Through it all, friends have assured me this is normal. Yesterday this sibling fighting was brought to new heights when one identical twin said to the other identical twin in a fit of anger, "You are ugly!" I was so stunned. First of all that was a silly thing to say because her twin looks exactly like her. Then when I tried to explain to her the logical fallacy of her comment, she just looked at me like I was dumb.

Bringing me to the next thing I have learned about my life. My kids often think I am dumb. I have to understand, they do not mean it. They are little. Parents are sometimes dumb. I just hope when they are grown up they won't think so any longer.

I have also learned that I am not at fault for my son's Aspergers - a common occurrence to which many parents succumb. He is a wonderfully caring boy with a large heart. He is so smart and such a little charmer. It has been stressful learning how to deal with his outbursts, both verbal and physical. I realized something since I have been trying to be calmer: He is too! This is a win-win situation. Which is wonderful, because I am not afraid that he will hurt me any more. I am stronger to deal with ignorant people's comments about my little angel. Most importantly, we as a family are a stronger, more united unit.

This journey started with a simple task: record a bit of happiness that I tried to harness each day. One way I have been continually doing this is by cleaning up our house bit by bit. Our house is clean. The problem has been the clutter. One may ask how can it be clean and cluttered? Trust me, it is deep cleaned every week, then three little cyclones leave debris in their wakes daily. My husband and I have spent countless hours purging and rearranging. We are still not finished, but I am starting to see a shape to the rooms again. And we have gained a room in the process. The once overflowing playroom is now a Zen masterpiece. The kids actually want to hang out there again and I can sit with them. Quite a feat!

So, though I still have another twenty days to go on this project, I am starting to feel the renewal and even, a revival of my spirit. So far, I think this is a fabulous project and I can't wait to see where the rest of this journey takes me both physically and emotionally.

For the past few minutes, I have been letting my mind wander to my favorite piece by Antonio Vivaldi. Hope you enjoy it too!

Day 19: Broken Glass

As I was relaxing for the first time all day after a hard few hours cleaning out our kids' playroom and our son's bedroom and thinking about the treasure trove of information I had to use for today's post. I heard a bone-chilling, smashing of glass. I rushed to the kitchen to find one of my favorite (and few) glasses on the floor in many chunky pieces. The aftermath is pictured above on the right side of the picture. The left side is one of the three remaining Swiss Cafe glasses from the Williams-Sonoma collection of 2009. They no longer make this pattern. I love these glasses because they are made of thick glass and take a lot of beating. They are not indestructible, however, and three have become victims to our tile flooring.

I was planning on discussing the wonderfully therapeutic outcome of deep cleaning our playroom. We removed all furniture and toys and rearranged to a new Zen perfection. I was going to elaborate about how I was so excited to have been able to rest for a few minutes on the futon (in sofa position) in the room for the first time in years. As great a project as that was, the tinkling glass gave me pause. It made me realize that like life relationships, sometimes they pass without a blink of an eye.

See, I really treasured that glass. I lovingly washed it. I enjoyed every drink I ever had from it. I took great care putting it away. In a sense, I did everything I could to protect it. It was taken from me, much too early. How did this come to pass? One of the twins was just trying to fill her Barbie pool. After a brief moment of panic about glass shards. I calmly vacuumed the small bits and put the large ones into a box. Then I quietly filled the pool using the tea kettle with nice cold water from the faucet.

So even though, I am sad to lose my favorite glass, at least we still have three more. Perhaps I will find more at a yard sale or even on Ebay. If not, I will have to look for a suitable replacement and maybe, just maybe, that glass will be the new best glass ever.

This song was playing on the radio as we were driving to church this morning... It is the antithesis of happy, but I felt compelled to include it here.

Day 18: Saturday, the Ferris Wheel

As I have been carting family members all around today, it hit me that my mileage is a moot point, because really, all I am doing in moving through the motions of life's Ferris wheel. Even though I was technically collecting miles as the day progressed, I never did anything that is not part of the hectic routine of our Saturdays during the school year. Causing me to think of a hamster running around in a wheel or a person being caught on a Ferris wheel that never stops, just slows down to let more people on.

It's funny, for most people, the weekend is a time to relax, rejuvenate and recharge. For us, it is a time to run faster, fall harder and spin our wheels more frantically. We don't have a usual weekend in that our three children are enrolled in Saturday school for German and, thus, they must be up early and at school ready to continue their learning for the week. For us, it is a time to make multiple trips between appointments and getting children to classes for staggered times. Finding a moment to grab a cup of java (or orange juice in my case this morning) is a special and rare treat.

I guess that I will just need to take in the view from the top of the Ferris Wheel. Too bad the entire ride isn't as much fun as the London Eye. Still, I would rather be on this crazy ride with my family, than anywhere else in the world. And perhaps that is the best lesson from this crazy day.

Here is a great band called the Judybats. I really wanted to share "Being Simple," but could not get it to link, so here is "Our Story" instead:

Day 17: Saffron Dreams and The Cure

Funny how one misunderstanding can cause a day of aggravation. The worst part is this disagreement happened between the love of my life and me. I wanted to get past it, but my sniffy Cancer self, was determined to be moody and crabby for the entire day. Instead, I was in a cantankerous mood, with no way to be consoled. Wanting to run away and officially call a strike from my life.

At the cafe where other parents and I grab a latte and sometimes a snack or breakfast, I did not want to sit with friends. I was content to sit and stew over my non-fat latte while thumbing through a European travel magazine. Instead of being inspired about the places I could visit or reminiscing about those places I have been, all I could do was complain to myself about how I would never again have fun traveling and that I will never be stress-free again.

When another friend joined me without asking, instead of being glad to have some company, all I could think was, "Great now, I have to chit chat." Chit chatting was the last thing on my mind at that moment. I wanted more time to wallow in my misery and be the black cloud in the corner of the room. Then 10 o'clock chimed and said friend and I had to make our way to our dance class. Going to dance class was about as exciting for me as cleaning the floor with a toothbrush. Luckily, with all the leaping and chasseing, my mood lifted.

By the time I left the studio and walked next door to the gym, I was even feeling a spring in my step. I confidently walked into the gym, and went and took a shower. It felt a little wrong, exercising next door and then using the gym for a shower, but I pay enough each month to subside this Catholic guilt. A little more buoyed, but still floating in a sea of discontent, I picked up my son and brought him to his play group.

I sat in the waiting room willing the floor to open up and take me in it. I guess the new bounce was a bit short lived. Finally, after about 45 minutes, I realized that I was hungry. Made sense, I had done serious exercise for an hour and then barely refueled. After a stop at the local Starbucks, my mood improved immensely and I was ready to return to the business of my life - which would include cooking in the very near future.

It is funny how cooking has always been a safe place for me since I was young. I remember experimenting with the cooking as a kid. I would pour over cookbooks and find new recipes that my mother never intended for me to cook with the ingredients on hand. Mostly, the results were ok. Sometimes great. And on a few occasions, inedible. Now, the misses are fewer and further between, but the experimentation is one of my favorite things. I like the artistic quality of turning earth grown materials into an edible masterpiece.

Tonight, I was set on making Garbanzo Stew, a meal I ate often when I lived in Córdoba, Spain. I decided to ditch any recipes and just cooked from my heart. My twin girls were excited to help me. They peeled potatoes, snipped green beans and were just a joy to have around. As I was looking at the bubbling goodness in the pot, I suddenly remembered seeing a picture of an older woman picking saffron and gently placing each piece in a special basket. I opened my spice drawer and found I still had some. So I lovingly crumbled a bit and let it all float into the simmering stew in a wisp of saffron dreams.

See, saffron dreams are more important that Champagne dreams. Champagne dreams are those that are luxurious and sometimes not attainable. Saffron dreams are those that are fragile and are the ones that you have to work extremely hard for. They are the dreams that people tell you will never materialize, but how wrong they are. Because saffron dreams always come true. They are led by your heart and are your destiny. They are the love that surrounds you and the warm hugs that envelope you. They are your significant other and your children. They are angels in the sidelines and they are you.

So, I hope you find your saffron dreams. Here is a little song to get you in the mood to think of yours. This is a bit obvious, this is one of my all time favorite bands, singing one of my all time favorite songs. Hey, it's Friday...and yes, I am in love.

Day 16: Stillness - A Time To Give Thanks

From time to time, when there is a moment of stillness, I realize that it is a great time to give thanks. Where to start? It seems like in the business of living, the polite necessities of my youth are tossed aside. Where does one find the time to write a simple thank you. Funny how modern technology is managing to make us into robots permanently attached to a high tech piece of equipment that is making our lives easier. But is it? The US postal service is worried about extinction because every day people just do not pick up a piece of paper and write a letter to friends and family members. For that there is email, facebook, and texting. Why reach out and touch somebody with your voice? Why waste a trip to the post office to mail a heart felt letter?

With a to do list that rivals the best of them, I finally sat down to write thank you notes from my son to his preschool friends for their birthday gifts. As I sat at the table, know what ran through my mind? "Emily Post would be happy, I am doing this within a month." I was not relieved that I had finally found the time to say thank you for such generous gifts. I was not happy that I was personally writing each card with a personal note. I was just happy that Emily Post's rules for etiquette were being followed.

I am not sure what that says about me. As the last card in the stack loomed closer to the light of day though, I started to think about how we just don't say thank you enough in this crazy life. What a better world we could have if we just look the cashier in the eye and really say thank you? What about that friend that is struggling behind closed doors? Perhaps your thank you would make all the difference. What about the guy (or gal) that pumps your gas. Do you really say thank you? What about the waitress that brings your refill without being asked? What about your family? How many times do you take the time to say thank you for all that they do without even being asked.

So, here is my second to do generated by this project: write a letter to a long lost friend and mail it!

Here is a little song by Dido to get you in the mood to say thank you.

Day 15: The Garbanzo Effect

Today, like yesterday, was a day completely out of my control. I drove over 60 miles today and went basically between our house and the kids' school, which is housed in two different buildings a few blocks away from each other. Did I mention that was over the course of three round trips? As well as a quick run to my parents' house. And here I have been wondering if someone has been syphoning off petrol!

How easy it is for one to be caught off guard from one's plans and feel the happiness drain off, while stress replaces the lost emotions. I tried to be upbeat today and was excited to spend time with one daughter, nursing her back to health. There were originally other plans for the morning that were tossed aside for this new plan, but I was actually not even phased or stressed.

The hard part started when I had to figure out how to fit all this in: soaking dry garbanzo beans, two school drop offs, a market run, a doctor's visit, a pharmacy run, a drop off for a grandparent, a pick up of first well child, a lunch, a donation to Salvation Army, a return and purchase at Target, a pick up of second well child, a pick up of sick child from Grammie's house, cooking garbanzo beans for 1 1/2 hours-2 hours, making dinner from scratch, making kids' dinner (they would never eat the Korma I planned on making for the adults), time for a blog, homework, bedtime routine and finally relaxing for the first time today.

Throughout the day, the only thing that made me smile was the thought of my 75 cent packet of dry garbanzo beans becoming two meals: Korma tonight and Garbanzo stew tomorrow night. Garbanzo beans are one of my favorite foods. I love their versatility and the fact that they are such humble little morsels that are so earthy and just delish.

While I was chopping the vegetables (see a trend here), I started to remember happy snippets from my time in Córdoba, Spain. The land of the Andaluz, through which the once mighty Guadalquivir was a mecca for industry of the region. A place that was once the seat of power for the Muslims. A city where there is a lovely Mezquita (Mosque) that survived thanks to the foresight of a Catholic priest. Where the lovely keyhole arches are juxtaposed next to the oxymoronic Catholic cathedral. A city of intricacies and a city of life. A city that is intoxicating in its history, its people, and its joie de vivre. A place that is dear to my heart.

With all of these memories running amok in my mind, the beautiful guitar driven songs from the Gipsy Kings started to play in my subconscious, reminding me of the nights in the discos. A time in my life when I was free from responsibility, free from major worries, free to enjoy life and free to live life. All this from a little bean that upon arrival in my house was just a dried, little thing. Now, I am a believer in the Garbanzo Effect - a life lesson learned on my own as I navigate these 40 days.

Day 14: New Pathways?

Remember when life's toughest decision was what to make for your art project? Today, while the poem "Two Roads" by Robert Frost has been stuck in my head, I fashioned this art project to help focus my thoughts. Funny how a car emerged...and fitting in a way.

Perhaps the poem is so prominent because since Sunday, I have had two sort of, kind of, in a way, job offers. Both are from former colleagues and both will probably not materialize into anything more than good wishes. But for one moment, my heart did a pitter patter as I thought about doing something outside the house that is meaningful and exciting.

Moreover, I feel as though I am standing at a crossroads, with many new pathways before me. Using the poem as a meditation piece, I have been trying to figure out if I can figure out the future, or if suddenly my destiny will direct the way. Here is the rendition from YouTube that can be used as a meditation piece:


I have no answers for my future right now, but I am focusing on the present and hoping to figure out the best thing for our family, and for myself. Suddenly, I feel as though I am part of an exciting (well, more exciting) life. I may not be traveling the world at a whim anymore, but I am helping to shape our future via my children and keep finding interesting projects to work on for this time in my life. I have decided to look for a volunteer opportunity between now and the end of the 40 days of this project. I want to pay it forward and see what karma brings.

Too many days, I feel overwhelmed with the highway of life, this song helps me to embrace the journey.

Day 13: Chopped

A funny thing happened on the way to a jubilant morning: three sour kids. When one was whining, they were all whining. By 8 am, my morning included:

1 piss poor attitude
2 doors slammed in my face
3 whining kids
4 sassy responses
5 pouty looks
6 stomping feet

Needless to say, this project was thrown out the window. To top off things, I managed to back over our garbage container leaving it stranded in the middle of our busy street. To be honest, I drove away with steam coming out of my ears and the gauge for the gas on EMPTY. I drove about a mile, when sanity returned and I realized that a. it was not nice to leave our squashed garbage can in the middle of the street and b. I was acting like a teenager.

So, I did a three point turn and returned to the scene of my crime against our household trash. After righting the wrongs of the first part of the morning, I proceeded to play my favorite bad day song:



Daniel Powter worked his magic, and even though I can't get away on a "blue sky holiday," I realized what I needed to return to equilibrium: cooking.

For some reason, cooking is cathartic for me. The mere motion of chopping brings me to a happy place. Usually this happens with a bunch of parsley or cilantro, but today the same effect was felt with peppers and onions. I had decided to make a twist on the Sicilian cacciatore with caramelized onions. The resulting concoction is the photo above. So right now, the delicious scent of fresh herbs, vegetables and turkey is doing its magic in the saute pan. My grandfather, Gogo, must be smiling down on me tonight (his family was from Sicily). Gogo this dinner is in your honor!

My husband sings this song to me all the time. It is silly and just the right thing for my culinary journey tonight.

Day 12: Roller Skating!

Today's foray into the happy field was facilitated by the birthday party for the son of a dear friend. We have not seen much of each other in the past few years, but nonetheless, we are able to pick up where we last left off and have reconnected. Not only have I reconnected with this friend, but another friend too. The three of us for some time were like the three Musketeers and were always together getting into some sort of adventure or another. It feels nice to be home for the first time in a while. I missed the trio something fierce and did not realize how much until today.

After the first half of the party, we did something for the second half of the party that I have not done for over 20 years: Rollerskating. The roller rink had two options for rentals: roller blades or old school skates. Being a retro kind of girl, and having not laced up proper skates for so long (20+ years) I decided to go old school. It was funny, I did not remember roller skating being such hard work. I managed to try and teach the twins for a few spins around the rink and we had a ball doing the "Hokey Pokey."

Hope you are finding little things to make you smile and remember that there is a silver lining in every cloud.

Day 11: The Power of Wonder Woman

Today started out on a very sad note. My cousin's funeral was held this morning and it was a very small funeral, which made me sad. To think that after 79 years of life, only six people other than the immediate family attended. Of course, most of the relatives have passed, but still...



After a lovely, yet solitary ceremony officiated by the priest and two Naval officers, we dispersed. The widow was too overwhelmed to face a mercy meal, so we were all on our own. I did not feel like coming home to an empty house, so I did something I do not usually do: shopping at the mall.

Tonight we have a soiree and I was after a nice, new tube of MAC lipstick. When I walked in, my childhood heroine was standing before me: Wonder Woman. My heart did a pitter patter.

Funny how a tube of lipstick and a palette of eyeshadow with her likeness brought me back to a safe time in my life when the worst decision was to wear red sneakers or black patten leather shoes. A time when there was no responsibility outside of learning to color in the lines and reading chapter books.

Today, started out sad, but is looking up. Thanks to the woman of heroic deeds and her new MAC line. The sun just broke through the clouds as I am typing as if a higher being is agreeing that I need to appreciate the little things. And today that is my goal. To appreciate the little things.

Today's little things are:
-seeing pictures in the clouds with my five year old
-taking the time to chat with another mom about life
-fitting a teeny tiny baby toy into a toy car
-the wonder of my girls seeing me in full makeup for the first time in their lives and wanting a little lippy too
-Whole Foods trail mix bar...I admit it, I am addicted
-trying on fun shoes for the heck of it :)
-putting on a comfy dress to hang around the house
-seeing my husband's eyes light up when he saw my face all made up <3
-The power of Wonder Woman: makeup for our grown up night out

Hope Wonder Woman inspires you today too!

Day 10: Rhythm

What a beautiful, warm Spring-like day that was bestowed on Northern Massachusetts today. There is spring fever in the air and I think I may have caught it. I just hope that the snow forcasted for Tuesday is a cruel joke.

Today's exercise for the search for happiness was just that exercise: adult jazz class. Okay, I have to be honest, the idea of jumping around in a dance studio with a bunch of (in my mind) super fit mommies in front of an unforgiving wall of mirrors is not exactly my idea of a fun time. I actually had to psyche myself up for today's outing and am so glad that I did.

From the tender age of three until about nine, I actually took dance. I was enrolled in tap, ballet and jazz. Jazz and tap were always my two favorites and when I left dance for figure skating, jazz was the one that I missed the most. There was something fun about doing chasses and leaps across the dance studio with jazz fingers making everything all so much fun.

Thankfully when I entered the studio with two friends, there were only two extremely fit mommies. The others seemed to just be there for the fun of it. Relaxing, the excitement of being back in a studio, not just as a dance mom, but as a student was exhilarating. Though I chuckled when they asked my age. Would they kick me out because I was not 40 yet? - I am definitely the youngest of the group.

We did so many wonderful stretching and yoga poses and my body felt excited to be doing more than a walk or a jog. It was funny, all my years of dance, skating and karate seemed to be in memory somewhere and I felt at home. An adult dance class with a friend or two is definitely recommended, but just remember, "What happens in the dance studio, stays in the dance studio." And hopefully, the pronouncement that I will be in agony tomorrow will be wrong.

Seeing that it is a gloriously sunny day, some vintage Katrina & the Waves seems appropriate.

Day 9: When Irish Eyes Are Smiling...

Though I have not even .0001% of Celtic blood coursing through my veins, St. Patrick's day has always been a wonderful, smile inducing, mirthful day for me. I have always proudly worn my green in support of all of my Irish friends. I have had more than my share of green beer in far flung reaches of the earth. And I have been struck quiet in awe of the Chicago River dyed green in honor of dear old St. Paddy.

Today, as an exercise for my happiness project (and while I was getting the bottle blond removed for the first time in over 20 years at the salon) I was pondering St. Patrick's day and what it means to me as an American woman with no Irish blood.

First, I thought back as far as I could remember for St. Patrick's Day celebrations. A sea of green was the first thing I could remember. It was a memory of all the children in preschool dressed up in the appropriate color for the day. With a smile upon my lips, I also remembered my mother telling me how she always wore orange on St. Patrick's Day because she was not Irish. Funny how just a generation later, we were already enthusiastically embracing this now American holiday.

I remembered "Boiled Dinners" cooked by my grandmother and mother. The sweet smell of the simmering corned beef with the carrots, potatoes and cabbage. Today, I am preparing this dish at the request of my German husband. Being an immigrant, I think he has embraced this fun filled day more so than even I have. Today, I dug out an authentic recipe for corned beef and cabbage and the goodness is simmering away happily on my stove. Perhaps even my picky eaters will try the meal from the land of the Leprauchan?

Drifting around in my mind, I traveled back to the Dubliner Irish bar that we frequented in Washington, DC when I lived there. Such a happy, happy place filled with young professionals and seasoned party-goers alike. I remember being at the bar on St. Patrick's day and a man from Ireland gleefully telling me that today I was Irish in my heart. So for today, I will be Irish in my heart for him. His name is long forgotten, but his glimmering blue eyes and contagious smile will live in my mental picture book forever.

Then my mind drifted to green beer. Green beer and St. Patrick's day go hand in hand. And was always flowing out of every bar in the US back in my college days. I remember the year I lived in Cordoba, Spain and the St. Patrick's day that we decided to have at the local bar. There was no green food coloring on hand, so we convinced our friendly bartender, that Creme de Menthe licquor would do the job just right. I always giggle at the memory of the bunch of us bravely smiling and drinking the concoction trying to pretend that it was just like home.

Then my mind flitted to our time in Dublin. The crazy weekend when on the flight from London to Dublin the gentle and nice man sitting next to me was quite inebriated after drinking the afternoon away in a bar at Heathrow after a few delayed flights. Half way through the flight, he asked me when the bus was going to arrive at the bus station. Then he became frightened and tried to open the window to get out. (At least we were not on the emergency aisle.) Landing was quite uncomfortable because the flight attendant was sitting on my neighbor to keep him in his seat for everyone's safety. The funniest part was that when we recounted this story to the taxi driver, he never missed a beat and said, "That had to be an Irish boy." And it was!

So, next time I am feeling glum, I should just take a stroll down St. Patrick's Day memories. This exercise really made me appreciate the power of St. Patrick and how much fun today is. Here is my favorite Irish band singing one of my favorite songs. Hope you like the Corrs too!

Day 8: Taking Time to Smell Flowers

Today has been yet another half full glass. So instead of trying to focus on the mundane tasks of raising three small ones, I have tried to see little glimmers of hope throughout the day. Perhaps you can relate? My kids are still small. Two 6 year olds and a 5 year old. Busy defines our life right now as we are trying to grapple with their burgeoning independence and our son's Aspergers. Some days the mountains seem to move out of our way, but others like yesterday and today, the mountains seem to move closer and block our way.

It feels egotistical to ponder my life when the world is literally coming to a standstill and people are suffering all around us in: Japan, Libya, Mexico, Egypt. How dare I even think about myself in such a global climate? The world is so small, perhaps seemingly so, having circumvented the globe more than once. It is a shame that we can't just come together as a people. Not as warring neighbors or allies vs. enemies. And for Japan, I can offer just a ray of hope your way. Hopefully, your nightmare will be over soon.

This is just a small gesture that there is hope for this world:


Back to my plight of filling my glass. Today, I have been having a hard time feeling the happiness effects of a hard first week of working on this project.

So here is a list of things that reminded me to take time to smell the flowers:
- Nutella laced kisses from my little man
- Rocking out in the car to loud music and not caring about the stares at the red light
- Fruit Ninja on my iPod which could seriously rival Angry Birds for addiction level
- Sunny daffodils and twisty tulips on a rainy day
- Cleaning out my sock drawer and finding sweet notes written by the twins last year
- Organizing my computer station so that it is not so crazy
- Hubby home early for the third night in a row (this is an all time record)
- Having my engagement ring cleaned at the jewelers
- Dulce de leche organic frozen yogurt - Stonyfield rocks!
- Finding out someone is actually looking at my blog! Here I was thinking I was writing to the big unknown of cyber-space...

For some reason, this Billy Joel song has been stuck in my head. So I share it with you...

Day 7: Letting the Sun Shine In

Today has been a see saw type of day. There have been super highs and some real lows. This is to be expected perhaps after seven days of this experiment. To further lift the mood, I have resorted to Italian-American oldies, but goodies and cheesy 70s songs that leave me happier than when they found me.

Today was a beautiful day sunshine wise. When I woke up I thought it was going to be a sunshine day.


The sun was shining. I woke up early without an alarm clock and was really trying to be upbeat. Two of the three kidlets woke up happy and ready for the day to begin...then Mr. Grumpy Pants woke up and instead of bringing rays of sunlight into each room. He has been bringing thunder with him where ever he goes. If he were a cartoon, a thunderbolt would be above his head. You get the picture.

Thankfully, the morning routine was very short and he was off to school. That is when I refound the sunshine. My friend and I went for a walk around a park with a track. When we arrived, we realized that the track was only half way melted and the rest was still snow-capped. Undeterred we walked the snow-free parts and kept a nice pace getting in a 40 minute workout. This was an exercise walk, not a stroll. We discussed our worlds and delved into the difference between being a gossip and being chismosa. I decided that they were very different with the English one not being so bad.

Re-energized, I popped home to grab something and change, then returned to pick up my little bundle of sunshine. Mr. Grumpy Pants emerged from school and did not leave. It has been a trying afternoon, and I fell off the happy wagon and back into my grumpier self. Despite all this Pebbles sweet voice singing "Let the Sun Shine In" has been filtering in the back of my head. At least there is a silver lining to my thunder filled afternoon, I did not get as upset as I would have in the past with the meltdowns and tantrums. I even removed Mr. Grumpy Pants from pick up to avoid a complete meltdown, which actually helped the situation.

Here is a little sunshine for you...

Day 6: Soup for the Soul

Today was another dreary late winter day with a few flecks of snow falling and many reasons to be glum. But I honestly could not find a reason to be a down in the dumps Jane.

After waking up way too late following the time change, all three kids made it to school with snacks and homework in hand. Finally, for the first time since Thursday, I had some kid-free time. Luckily, a great friend was free for some shopping. We had a great time finding deals at a Borders going out of business and I found a great little black dress for a soiree we are attending on Saturday. A great morning.

I have really been feeling energized this past week and am definitely starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel. Last week before the beginning of the happiness project, I was feeling as though I was stuck in Groundhog Day. Every day the same. Every day, no fun.

To say that every moment is a blissful time, would be misleading. Rather I am trying to remember what it is like to be childlike and to leave the anger at the door. I am not as snappy, quick to judge, nor on the edge of reasoning.

Things that usually seem so stressful to me are finally feeling like just a few errands. For instance today in one hour, I needed to mail some letters, cash some checks and deposit them into my bank account and pay some bills at City Hall - all with a cranky child in tow. Normally (read the past few months) this would send me over the edge of reasoning, but today, I made it a game for the little guy and we actually had fun! We counted the steps to town hall, looked for lollipops at the bank and wished the mail a bon voyage. All chores were accomplished within 25 minutes and we were both happy.

Seems fitting that as I am finding some comfort for my bruised soul, I decided to make a wonderful smelling butternut squash coconut lime soup for dinner. I have tasted the cooking delight and can't wait to eat it tonight. My kids keep telling me that the kitchen smells stinky from the cumin and cinnamon. I told them that is the smell of a hug. They all just rolled their eyes at me.

Here is Bell X1, a great Irish band I found, singing about "Alphabet Soup."

Day 5: Getting Lost in the Supermarket

Today's big foray into the fun, outside world was to the drive up ATM and a very crowded Supermarket run. One would think that having worked at a supermarket through high school and briefly in college, I would have remembered that Sunday afternoons are crazy busy. I had completely forgotten, or shopping patterns may have changed in the twenty odd years since I last donned a DeMoulas smock and stocked the shelves in grocery hell.

I was very proud of myself today. I did not get aggravated in the aisles when they were repeatedly blocked. Instead I took the few seconds respites as just that. Breaks from our hectic home life. When the person parked next to me, was blocking the back of my car with her basket, I did not say a peep. (I was not in a hurry, so I filled my trunk from the side.) When her grown daughter opened the back passenger door as I was trying to walk to my door, I did not yell at her. Instead, I took the opportunity to add a few more steps to my day and walked around the other side of the car. These are important steps because I usually would have asked them to move themselves out of my way and been a bit bitchy. So, I think this happiness project is starting to work.

My kids are unknowingly participating in my little happiness project with full gusto. I printed out glasses of milk for each of them and they are filling their glasses with good deeds that are noted via stickers. Then each sticker is being translated into change (just all the loose change I keep finding in my cleaning spree). This is our family project. All money will be donated at the end of the project to their Lenten Alms collection boxes. Win-win really. They are being nice to each other, helping around the house, and raising money for a good cause. :)

Here's hoping that you get a little lost in the supermarket. (Great song by the Clash)

Day 4: And then there was rest...lots and lots of it.

My little guy is sick right now with a fever and general lethargy. Because of this, he stayed home from German school this morning and we read oodles of children's books, watched tons of relaxing tv (I actually dozed off), and just cuddled.

It was the little moments of connection this morning that somehow seem lost in this crazy world we live in. Moments that are often marred by our so called technology. Moments that will never be given back to our new generation. Today, watching cartoons on Saturday morning, reading silly books and just hanging was such a treasure. I hope he remembers mornings like this when he is older.

The best quote this morning:
Son "Yeah, I've had paella" (in reference to a cartoon).
Me "Um, I haven't cooked that in a while. Are you sure?"
Son "Of course! I ate it with God. Before I was born."

So, hopefully you are resting yourself to happier place. In the meantime here is a little nostalgia for you


And if you have a second longer, check this out too:

Day 3: Finding Shiny Happy People on a dreary day

Today, on day three of my personal journey, I woke up to a headache, a body ache, and a pukey child. Not the makings of a happy day. Determined to turn this frown upside down, I embarked on a forced happy day - then I found out about the Tsunami in Japan. Now really, did I have any reason to be happy at all?

So, in piled the remaining two children for their ride to school and my gym duty in the rain. Along the way, REM's "Shiny, Happy People" popped into my mind. And memories from Wheaton College, sunning in the Dimple, dancing like a fool to a boom box blaring out this 90s anthem flittered through my grey matter. Then a sweet, young voice singing along to the songs on the radio broke my reverie and brought a smile to my lips.

Even on this dreary day, smiles were to be had after all. After completing my gym duty (and by this I mean walking my kids' class to and from gym in the cold rain), I came home to a huggy boy who just wanted to cuddle.

Here is your own little bit of "Shiny, Happy People" to help you see the sun today too:

Day 2: Happiness is a new pair of Chuck Taylors!

Today began very refreshed after a wonderful night's slumber. Ready to continue on the Happiness Project, I immediately got ready for another great day. After a shower, I managed to file all my bills and leave just the few that need to paid tomorrow in my desk inbox ready for the morning. Then I tackled the first of many clean up zones to does. This one is beyond comment: a filled casserole whose contents needed to be put in the correct place. After finishing both of these tasks, it was time to rouse the kiddies.

This is when my day took a huge plunge and I had to wrestle with myself not to turn into THAT mother. I am proud to say that I dangled stickers in front of their eyes and managed to refind the happy.

So after a rocky morning, the rest of the day went swimmingly, minus the eye dialation at the eye doctor. I will have snazzy new reading glasses next week and finally a pair that has not been kidhandled that dangle from one ear. :)

Hope you found a Happy moment today too.

Day 1: 40 Days to a Happier Number

Life for the past three years has been throwing so many water balloons at our family, that most days, I have no idea where to look. I have tried over the course of this blog to make it be different things. Today, I am taking it organic and bringing it back to what it was originally supposed to be: a place to reflect on life with three young kids in a crazy place that we call the world.

Making the decision to change the blog from Mama's Sweet Deals to Filling My Glass has been ruminating for months. Recent events, have let my mind clear and finally see that I need to get back to writing and to release my creative being, return to me.

To start this journey, I decided to take the Authentic Happiness Inventory Questionnaire to find out what my Happy Number is. I scored 2.46 out of a possible 5. Better than I thought, but still not my potential. So... I have decided to see if I can boost that number in 40 days. This means a lot of cleaning - organizing the messes I can handle and trying to get the emotional stuff where it needs to be. Hopefully, this project will allow me to rediscover the creative self that is wandering around somewhere, feeling a little lost.

If you decide to join me on filling your glass...come along for the ride. Let's see where this baby will take us. No plans, just going with the flow and creating a happy place to keep the work stuff propelling forward.

Here is a little song to get you in the mood to dust off life and re-examine it:

And if you want to take the Authentic Happiness Inventory Questionnaire, click here.