Funny how one misunderstanding can cause a day of aggravation. The worst part is this disagreement happened between the love of my life and me. I wanted to get past it, but my sniffy Cancer self, was determined to be moody and crabby for the entire day. Instead, I was in a cantankerous mood, with no way to be consoled. Wanting to run away and officially call a strike from my life.
At the cafe where other parents and I grab a latte and sometimes a snack or breakfast, I did not want to sit with friends. I was content to sit and stew over my non-fat latte while thumbing through a European travel magazine. Instead of being inspired about the places I could visit or reminiscing about those places I have been, all I could do was complain to myself about how I would never again have fun traveling and that I will never be stress-free again.
When another friend joined me without asking, instead of being glad to have some company, all I could think was, "Great now, I have to chit chat." Chit chatting was the last thing on my mind at that moment. I wanted more time to wallow in my misery and be the black cloud in the corner of the room. Then 10 o'clock chimed and said friend and I had to make our way to our dance class. Going to dance class was about as exciting for me as cleaning the floor with a toothbrush. Luckily, with all the leaping and chasseing, my mood lifted.
By the time I left the studio and walked next door to the gym, I was even feeling a spring in my step. I confidently walked into the gym, and went and took a shower. It felt a little wrong, exercising next door and then using the gym for a shower, but I pay enough each month to subside this Catholic guilt. A little more buoyed, but still floating in a sea of discontent, I picked up my son and brought him to his play group.
I sat in the waiting room willing the floor to open up and take me in it. I guess the new bounce was a bit short lived. Finally, after about 45 minutes, I realized that I was hungry. Made sense, I had done serious exercise for an hour and then barely refueled. After a stop at the local Starbucks, my mood improved immensely and I was ready to return to the business of my life - which would include cooking in the very near future.
It is funny how cooking has always been a safe place for me since I was young. I remember experimenting with the cooking as a kid. I would pour over cookbooks and find new recipes that my mother never intended for me to cook with the ingredients on hand. Mostly, the results were ok. Sometimes great. And on a few occasions, inedible. Now, the misses are fewer and further between, but the experimentation is one of my favorite things. I like the artistic quality of turning earth grown materials into an edible masterpiece.
Tonight, I was set on making Garbanzo Stew, a meal I ate often when I lived in Córdoba, Spain. I decided to ditch any recipes and just cooked from my heart. My twin girls were excited to help me. They peeled potatoes, snipped green beans and were just a joy to have around. As I was looking at the bubbling goodness in the pot, I suddenly remembered seeing a picture of an older woman picking saffron and gently placing each piece in a special basket. I opened my spice drawer and found I still had some. So I lovingly crumbled a bit and let it all float into the simmering stew in a wisp of saffron dreams.
See, saffron dreams are more important that Champagne dreams. Champagne dreams are those that are luxurious and sometimes not attainable. Saffron dreams are those that are fragile and are the ones that you have to work extremely hard for. They are the dreams that people tell you will never materialize, but how wrong they are. Because saffron dreams always come true. They are led by your heart and are your destiny. They are the love that surrounds you and the warm hugs that envelope you. They are your significant other and your children. They are angels in the sidelines and they are you.
So, I hope you find your saffron dreams. Here is a little song to get you in the mood to think of yours. This is a bit obvious, this is one of my all time favorite bands, singing one of my all time favorite songs. Hey, it's Friday...and yes, I am in love.
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