Spa me away

Today my glass is not filled. Not half filled. Just empty. Life today sucks. Life yesterday sucked. Life tomorrow will surely suck. What? This is supposed to be an uplifting blog. One that has seen many transformations, but has never been one to wallow and self-pity. Yet this mom is doing just that. I just checked out the cost for a chic spa. Yep, that is not happening. I need a break from being a mom. A housewife. A non-entity. Languishing somewhere are my degrees, long forgotten, since I decided, yes, decided that I wanted to be a house frau because I could not fathom the thought of leaving my infant twins in someone else's care 10 years ago. 10 years of watching life go by. 10 years of just being so-and-so's mom. 10 years of just being a ghost of my former self. 10 years for what? To be a taxi driver to my son's various treatments (he has Asperger's and high anxiety). To ferry kids almost 1,000 miles a week in a crappy mini-van that I have always hated. To sacrifice everything for three children who have become so self centered that they can't see beyond themselves. This mom just wants to be wanted, cherished, and respected. So how do I find me again? Because this life sucks...

My dirty little secret.

Sometimes I feel as though my dirty little secret is bigger than Mount Morency Falls. It is bigger than life itself. Last night I let a couple of friends in on my "dirty little secret." I finally fessed up to a few more friends that I have changed my diet to a vegan diet. This group of friends proved to be quite supportive. And I joked at the end that it was my dirty little secret. One friend corrected me and said that it is my clean little secret. But then that got me to thinking... I really do have a dirty little secret... my kids are driving me to drink. There I said it. I am so far pushed over the edge, that I don't see any light in the tunnel. Not one little peep. Sad isn't it... between my son's constant meltdowns, my daughters' pouty replies and the elephant in the room (son has figured out that he is different, but we are not sure at 6 he is ready for the title of it...)...so what's a girl to do? I wish I knew.

Day... um... what day is it any way?

This lovely photo was taken a year ago...See I don't even know which year it is! In all seriousness, I so wanted this blog to turn into a year ofs. A check in a day to see how I am doing on the vegan front. Not that I don't want to check in daily, it is just that I had the idea two weeks into the project and then I was woefully behind and tried to check in a whole bunch of days in one sitting... the result. Blogger burn-out. Throw in three little kids, a novel in progress, finding a new text book for a class I am teaching, and did I mention three kids off of their camp schedule? You get the picture.

So here I am on day I have no idea what number and I am feeling so much better - minus a Burger King snafu earlier this week I have managed to stay vegan all of last week and all of this week. I was told my a loving relative that the veg burgers at Burger King are vegan. I was so excited that I did not even check for myself. I can tell you 100% for sure there was some dairy in there. And later I realized that there was even some egg... so much for Burger King embracing a plant based diet! - However, that said the sweet potato fries were delish. Even my son liked them. And he is the pickiest eater this side of the Mississippi.

Speaking of which, I stunned two carnivores in our local Indian place the other night. I did not even realize that they could hear me. I was talking to my husband about my father and his asthma, rheumatoid arthritis and other ailments and telling my husband that my dad would be living so much happier on a plant based diet. My husband said that the two aforementioned women nearly fell out of their seats. Luckily, I could not see them, because I think I may have just lectured them on the little friends they were eating. Which leads me to this picture... see cute to feed, not to feed on. Peace out.

Day 13: Energized!

I woke up so energized today! If I knew how great I would feel so quickly, I think I would have done this years ago. Funny, I was vegetarian until living in Southern Spain squashed my abilities to eat vegetarian while living in the dorms. I was so sick for months. I should have just returned to my veg roots once I was back on US soil, but then decided that I never wanted to be that sick again. Seems silly to me now. Though there have been many places where I have traveled over the years where it would have been impossible to eat vegetarian. I guess this one will have to be a shoulda, woulda, coulda, glad I finally did.

Day 12: Olympic Fever

Tonight the 2012 Olympics kicked off. We decided to celebrate in grand style with our little ones. We have made an Olympic board to track the countries that we have each chosen: Papa (Great Britain), Mama (China), Daughter (Japan), Daughter (Germany) and Son (USA). We also had a party of sorts:

Vegan Spinach dip with tortilla chips
Spaghetti with meatballs and meetballs for me
and vegan vanilla cupcakes.

It was quite a feast and we have a ton left over. Hope my, I mean our, teams do well...

Day 11: Side of fries.

Today, I decided to try some french fries. They are vegan, right? Well, as yummy as I thought they would be, they left me feeling icky. Now trying to be scientific about this, I will have to try them out somewhere else. Who knows it could just be the oil at the restaurant that I was at. I felt a bit smug that I was eating vegan and eating french fries.

Day 10: Chickens are friends, not nuggets.

Hubby called home today from Seattle. He asked me how things were going with my quest so I answered, "Chickens are friends, not nuggets." I thought I was cute. The sentence managed to gross him out. He is a great guy. He, my German born and bred, pork loving, beef munching husband is on board with eating vegan when he is home. I am hoping that long term, he will change to a plant based diet. I so want him to try it. To see how much better he can feel. Though he is not the one with lots of complaints, that is my department. So, for today, I am thankful that he is trying a mostly veg existence with some fish thrown in there. He needs to read about those fish farms. It will stop him...