Today my little man graduated from Pre-School. Part of me is relieved. Part of me is happy. Part of me is sad. Soon gone will be the innocence of being a small boy, to be replaced, perhaps, by the cynicism of the day. Part of me wants to stop time and despite the constant meltdown, hold him in my arms and really enjoy this special bond we have. Yet, I know that let him grow I must for he is really eons ahead academically, he is just behind in the social relm. Funny, for parts of the year, I have been wishing for Kindergarten. Wishing to have some real time on my hands. Now, I want to turn back time and wish for more understanding and patience.
See, Gregory was not diagnosised until November, so I was having a wretched time trying to figure out what was going on. No one believed me that there was something a little bit off. He seems fine at first glance. It's the behind the scenes meltdowns and fits. It was the emotional baggage. It was the private beatings he was giving me. I felt so alone. No one, not even my husband, seemed to fully understand the stress and the emotions. It was a dark time. A long, and dark two years.
However, since diagnosis, we, as a family, have drawn together and are figuring out ways to help our little man become a big man. Our days are far from perfect, but there is sun shining on days when in the past there was nothing but darkness. Now I really want to absorb each moment. Gone are the feelings of just trying to survive.
So, as I look at the long summer ahead of us, I am looking at the fun we will have. The new adventures. The new friends. The new us.
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